Them and I
by theBrillianceofNight
Summary: Because we choose who our friends are and the things we learn from them. We may not pick up their habits, but there is something to be learned from even the most desolate of people and the hardest situations.


Hinata surveyed the crowd in front of her, easily picking out faces she knew, using the alphabetical line-up to her advantage. All those people, watching her, waiting to see what would happen. Hinata felt unbelievably selfish, so she quickly began to speak.

"As the valedictorian of my graduating class, I wish I wasn't an idiot." Succinct, to the point. "There have been so many people who have changed my life, that I can't believe that I didn't notice them until recently." She smoothed out the paper in front of her, eyes flickering to it for a second.

"It has been said that a person's friends dictate what kind of character that person has," she began, studying the grain of the wooden podium. "I used to agree with that wholeheartedly." Then she looked up, straight at the crowd. "Currently, I disagree with the previous statement."

She sought out the eyes of him, her, this guy, that girl, those who had so changed her life, and as she looked at each person, she gathered the resolve to speak.

"I disagree, because if a person's friends decide what kind of character a person has, then I'd be addicted to drugs and I'd be depressed." Her eyes slid from Sabaku no Kankurou's wide eyes to Rock Lee's closed ones, opposites for once.

She'd been running, running, because she'd been told to scream and she'd refused. She'd ducked around the corner to see Kankurou sliding a syringe out of his arm, eyes sliding closed at the comfort. Lee had been next to her, large eyes with dark bags, muttering under his breath as he popped back a few anti-depressants. Then he'd looked up, and his eyes had bugged at the sight of her. Kankurou lifted heavy eyelids and slipped down to the floor, so she and Lee carried him to her house, where she cooked for them and watched Kankurou until he recovered.

"I'd be anorexic, bulimic…"

She bumped into Ino coming out of a bathroom stall. She'd heard the sound of retching just before, and at the sight of the pale girl with the red face, she'd known whom exactly it was that had bent over to the porcelain appliance. Hinata had wordlessly handed her a still-packaged toothbrush, a pack of gum, and her car keys. Ino directed Hinata to her house, light blue on the outside and pale floral on the inside. Hinata prepared some tea and opened the door to Shikamaru. She automatically adjusted the amount she made and listened quietly as Shikamaru and Ino discussed how many pounds they'd lost in the past few days. She brought the tea in, on a tray, and lent a shoulder for Ino to sob on, and an ear for Shikamaru to share his irrational fear of large numbers.

"…And I'd have a compulsive eating disorder."

Uzumaki Naruto was so fit it was unbelievable. She'd seen him spend multiple hours every day at the gym, working so hard that sweat poured off of him in rivers. Then she'd watched him eat seven large bowls of ramen before she walked over and bodily dragged him out. He'd smiled sheepishly before saying, haunted, that he couldn't stop.

"I'd be overweight and looked at with disgust."

Chouji was such a kind soul, and through no fault of his own, he was sorely over average weight. Hinata had met him at the doctor's office and he offered to share a bag of chips with her. He loved food, but he loved sharing even more.

"I'd be the loved student, the hated miscreant and the eldest daughter, the youngest son and the child who is wise beyond his years, the ignorant adult who observes but never sees."

Her cousin, Neji, sat near the top of all of his classes and was known for participating in numerous extra-curriculars. How he managed to balance it all was a mystery solved when she had walked in on him doing schoolwork late into the night. The teachers loved him and he could never let them down.

Temari was an enigma. Teachers hated her, and she was constantly truant and yet somehow passing. She had two younger brothers in the same school, Kankurou and Gaara, and Hinata had once seen how she treated them so faithfully even with their shortcomings, and wondered why she did not show that same responsibility in school. Temari had grinned, saying she didn't want to set any expectations that her brothers would fail to meet. She wanted to set the standards low so that her brothers would succeed.

Hinata had met Kiba through Hana. Inuzuka Hana was her lab partner, and when they'd met at the Inuzuka house, she'd been curious about the shy boy who had understood when she only nodded in greeting. Kiba, his sister told her. He was a young child, six or so years younger, but a troublemaker. Whenever Hinata saw him, though, he seemed so quiet and introverted.

And Hatake Kakashi, a teacher who had been so caught up in his own problems that he forgot to ever look up and see what the people around him were going through. He'd spoken without thinking of consequences, and hurt others because he'd been hurt. Hinata did not blame him, because he had never thought to understand.

Hinata looked to Sakura, who was sobbing quietly into a handkerchief.

"If those who I befriended related directly to myself, I'd be pregnant at seventeen."

Life truly was unfair, because Haruno Sakura had never consented. Her boyfriend, however, was determined to get his way, so Sakura struggled to hide her failure until Hinata had found her crying in a classroom and helped her research how to care for a newborn child.

"I would be a teenage father, and I would have had seventeen boyfriends in the past month."

Shino hadn't agreed either. He had dizzy spells and blacked out. He'd left class one morning to answer a hysterical phone call from a girl he had never even met, greeted with a girl screaming that it was his fault though he'd never made the decision. He blacked out as she'd passed by, so Hinata had caught him and waited for him to wake up. He'd held on tightly, until he was sure she knew that it wasn't his fault.

And Ten-ten, beautiful Ten-ten, had been thrown around because she respected herself "too much", because she was headstrong and stubborn and would not change her morals for a boy.

"If my friends were myself, I would have heart problems, have only until the New Year to live, and I'd be dead."

Gaara, Temari's brave littlest brother, restricted to a sedentary lifestyle and unlikely to survive to see his next birthday because his heart would fail if he got too excited.

And Uchiha Sasuke, whose crumbling life had been the source of Naruto's nightmares.

Hinata stopped to take a deep breath, to calm herself.

"I've come such a long way in the past years, spiritually, academically, and in maturity as well, but I haven't learned all of life's lessons in school alone. That is why it would be false to say that one's friends do not affect one at all." She lifted her gaze from the cemetery in the distance and fixed it on the crowd in front of her, on the audience of those who had come to listen and even those who hadn't.

"From someone addicted to drugs, I learned to enjoy the simple things in life, because otherwise, you will have missed so much if they are taken away from you. From someone with depression, I learned to take the best out of a situation and focus on it."

Kankurou had smiled when she handed him a plain cheese-and-bread sandwich. He thanked her and enjoyed the simple meal, because in the complicated lifestyle he led, he cherished a full night's sleep. They were far and few, so he had learned to appreciate the little things.

When she had run out of juice, Lee had offered to run the store. He'd wanted to run anyway, so he took full advantage of the moment to do so and teach Hinata a lesson while he was at it. She watched him go with a new lightness in her heart, even as she watched his smile drop as he walked away, alone.

"From my friend with anorexia, the friend with bulimia, and the friend who cannot seem to stop eating, I learned that you should love those around you unconditionally, for they may not always be there."

Naruto crashed through the door one fateful afternoon, saying that Sasuke went into the hospital overnight and was unresponsive. At the news that it was unlikely he'd ever wake up, Ino had fallen to the floor and Shikamaru stayed standing, frozen in his shock. Then Hinata had watched in awe as Ino got up and steered Naruto and Shikamaru to the couch, where they proceeded to prepare speeches for Sasuke's funeral. When I turned to Shikamaru, he smiled, saying they'd stood up for Sasuke and stood with him, that they'd forgiven him for all of his wrongs and regretted nothing but the time they didn't have to spend.

"The companion who was above 'normal' weight showed me I could love myself."

Chouji loved to share food, hugs, and advice as well. He'd told Hinata that he was happy with who he was, and even if he let himself down and ate when he told himself he wouldn't, he would never hate himself. Hating would get him nowhere; any resolve would disappear. But if Chouji could love himself, she could too.

"The adored student showed me that I could miss so much if I focused on the wrong things."

Neji, always so studious and concentrated on schoolwork, had never bothered to look at the outside world because education _was _his world. His world was built on the approval of teachers because of the father he'd lost and the cold uncle he feared to see. When he finally took a peek out the window, he'd been amazed at the wonders and all of the people standing just outside of his peripheral vision, waiting for him to look up and be aware that they were always going to be there for him, to support him and help him rebuild.

"The miscreant revealed secrets to leading a life I won't regret, and the eldest daughter taught me gentleness."

Temari lived every day to the fullest and yet made sure to stay true to the things that mattered. She was strict but kind to Kankurou when he came stumbling home in the gray hours of morning. She was sweet but firm with Gaara as she used Kankurou as a lesson, making sure he knew there would be consequences from wrongdoing, even if he was unlikely to see another spring.

"The youngest son taught me compassion, and the child wise beyond his years taught me to appreciate the times where I can relax and enjoy myself."

At only twelve, Kiba had shown her new ways to express herself when words failed her. Hinata had seen him grow and was amazed by the insights he imparted. He gave not advice, but new perspectives. He gave not ideas, but inspiration. His way of thinking was something she'd come to expect from adults ten years his senior, but he understood because he knew how to listen.

"The ignorant adult showed me that I should stay a child at heart: impressionable, but guarded against those who would do me wrong."

Kakashi had strong survival instincts, and yet he cared enough to share them when he finally looked away from his own life. He taught her how to stand for herself, even as he had been unable to, because he knew how it was to be immature and childish because he never had a childhood; he'd been forced to grow up too quickly and the child was still nestled deep inside, never having had the chance to mature.

"A pregnant girl helped me learn that life goes on. A teenaged father described the necessity of love in someone's life. And the girl who has been tossed around like piece of trash taught me that I should accept myself the way I am but never stop at trying to better myself."

Sakura refused to sulk at home. Now with a toddler, she had made it through college and was graduating with a proud, if watery, smile on her face.

Shino had only wanted the care and attention his mother had never given him. He'd just wanted someone to listen to him, to believe he was telling the truth.

Ten-ten stayed true to herself through it all, and was happy with who she was. Even so, she still worked hard to improve herself. She refused to settle, always reaching higher and higher to reach the place she wanted to be, and even then, she would refuse to sit still. Always moving, never settling.

"A friend on a waiting list for a heart taught me to never stop what I love doing, and the weak child confined to bed taught me strength."

Indeed, Gaara still wrote and he still danced. Slowly, with only his hands and the tips of his fingers on the worst days, but as long as hope was in sight, he would keep strong and keep going, slowly but steadily toward the spring few people believed he could reach.

"My dead friend taught the lesson that sometimes you need to give things up for the benefit of those important to you."

Ino, Shikamaru, and Naruto had helped each other through Sasuke's death. Ino had lost an ex-boyfriend-turned-friend. Shikamaru had lost a companion who understood his dilemmas with numbers and intelligence. Naruto lost a brother and gained nightmares that convinced him that if he couldn't overcome his obstacles, he'd fail like Sasuke had. Sasuke had given into his inner demons, his harmful ways, and had consequently died after a knife fight. Naruto refused to sink that low and refused to let Ino or Shikamaru fall either. He didn't want his own friends to have to suffer through his funeral, and he sure wouldn't let Ino or Shikamaru do the same.

Hinata paused, gathering her resolve.

"I pray we will all have such friends, those that leave such an inerasable mark from such unpredictable direction. I hope that you will truly appreciate these friends that leave footprints on your heart. Thank you."

Hinata ducked her head, then strode as calmly as she could off of the stage. She accepted all of the congratulations silently—all she needed to say had been said. And then she went to stand by friends, the ones who she had taught that in a world full of noise, silence can confine a person, but at the same time, silence could empower a person so greatly.

She had nothing more that she needed to say, and her friends understood that.

Individuals characterized by drug addictions, eating disorders, weight issues, age differences, variations in character, and medical problems could all rise above their circumstances to do great things if a girl who bound herself to silence could give a speech in front of her world.


End file.
